I love a good turn of phrase, especially when the ending is unexpected. Something about the incongruity of the ending triggers laughter in me. I think such cleverness is the essence of good humor.
Below are a few phrases and sentences that highlight unexpected incongruity, which I hope make you smile. Enjoy!
- "I'd give my right arm ... to be ambidextrous."
- "I used to work for Minute Maid orange juice ... but they let me go because I couldn't concentrate."
- Lady Astor: "Sir Winston (Churchill), if you were my husband, I would give you poison in your drink."
Churchill: "Lady Astor, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- "I'm ambidextrous ... that means I can breathe in or out of water."
- "Leave no turn unstoned." (Simon Cowell's motto)
- "The difference between the right word, and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug." – Mark Twain.
- "When I was 14 years old, I thought my father was so ignorant that I could hardly stand to have the old man around; but when I turned 21, I was amazed at how much he had learned in just seven short years." – Mark Twain.
- "I love a finished speaker;
Oh yes, I really do;
I don't mean one who's polished,
I just mean one who's through."
- "Some of you are wondering how I was chosen to speak here tonight. The planning committee got together and decided to ask their most intelligent friend if he would speak tonight ... and he said "no." Then, they asked their most humorous friend if he'd speak this evening ... and he said "no." Then, they asked their most athletic friend if he'd come and speak to you all this evening ... and he said "no." And ... finally ... they asked ... their most handsome friend to speak to you this evening ... and well, frankly, I just couldn't turn them down four times in a row ... so I said "yes!"