Perhaps you've heard of Jack Handy? He's the SNL oracle from decades ago, who would wax eloquent ... until the punchline. Then the incongruity of his thinking would elicit uproarious laughter. Here are (in my opinion) a few of his best:
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind." Basically, it's made up of two separate words -- "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
Recently I was digging through old files and found notes from a children's contest, requesting submissions for Deep Thoughts. Here are a few notable entries by kids who imitated Jack Handy's style of humor:
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last ... which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big, hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is ... I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
Haha, I hope you had a laugh and have a Great Friday!